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Oh Yes, There Will Be Blood

When the corpse of a young man is found and a piece of flesh in the form of a jigsaw is missing on his shoulder, Detective Matthews (Donnie Wahlberg) soon realizes that an infamous psychopathic serial killer (Tobin Bell) is about to play his game one more time. When hidden evidence points to the killer’s lair, a race against time ensues. While detective Matthews and S.W.A.T teams try to locate and apprehend the sadistic psychopath, eight people (among them Matthew’s son) are breathing in a deadly nerve agent somewhere across town and become puppets in the Jigsaw’s sick game. Being told that there are several antidotes scattered around the house, the prisoners will have to solve vicious riddles and avoid deathtraps that have been set up by the killer. Once tension has built up between the eight strangers the fight for survival has begun, and obviously only the fittest will survive.

After last year’s sleeper-hit Saw, it was only a matter of time until the second installment would hit theaters but nobody expected it to be so soon. Nonetheless, we are not given the impression that this movie has been rushed since Saw II features a well thought-out script that tries to tamper with your mind. Just like its predecessor, Saw II is an at-the-edge-of-your-seat experience that requires a strong stomach and may even repel some cinema-goers. Like so many sequels before, this second installment tries to push the boundaries while upping the ante at absurdum. Saw II fortunately manages to stop just before the ridiculous. The gore level has of course been taken to a whole different level but leaves you disturbed rather than amused. The question is however, whether showing the most repelling things man is capable of, is a working concept in today’s culture and entertainment industry. That being said, Saw II is by no means a bad movie; it is actually a welcome change from the teeny-horror movies that had been unleashed in the 90’s. If you look closely, the movie might even teach some kind of lesson, you know, somewhere between all those limbs and brain matter.

Unfortunately, though, if you already saw Saw, you pretty much already saw Saw II and I am taking a wild guess here but I believe this is not the last time we saw the Jigsaw in Saw. (2 out of 4 buckets of the red stuff)

I am a bounty hunter.

Her name is Domino Harvey and she is a bounty hunter. Based on a (sort of) true story, Domino, being held in custody by the FBI (Lucy Liu), recaptures the latest coup of the bounty hunter trio (Keira Knightley, Mickey Rourke and Edgar Ramirez) that has gone awfully wrong. Ending up with 10 million dollars belonging to the mob, they are in need of a well laid out plan in order to return the cash to its ‘rightful’ owner while not being shot in the process. In between, flashbacks tell us how such a delicate little thing like Domino became a bounty hunter in the first place and how she was not meant to live in that 90210 world her mother fancied so much. In search of a job she comes across Ed and Choco, apparently the most legendary bounty hunters in all of Los Angeles, and joins them for a little bit of fun. What followed was indeed a fun if chaotic life full of shotguns, flying bullets and the occasional lap dance.

After yet another version of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, Keira Knightley stars and excels in Tony Scott’s latest work. Knightley is great in the role of the delicate yet extremely tough and determined girl and surprises with a certain sex appeal that never really showed before. The rest of the cast are similarly great even though it is shame that some characters remain underdeveloped and as a result stars like Christopher Walken or Mena Suvari don’t get nearly as much screen time as they would have deserved. Just like Domino’s life, the movie feels sometimes overloaded, too chaotic and confusing, above all because the movie sometimes rewinds and revisits a passed event just to tell us that it happened in a completely different way than we were initially led to believe. Apart from that, the handheld-like camera work and oversaturated colors are nice effects (and make an allusion to the reality TV show that follows the bounty hunters on their daily pursuits) but grow increasingly tiresome half-way through the movie. Nevertheless, Domino remains a fun, kind of factual piece of fiction with great music, great cast and great expectations. (2.5 out of 4 pizzas)

Everyone has something to hide.

Middleton, Indiana, is your average ordinary small town and Tom Stall (Viggo Mortensen), working at a dinner and being the father of two, is your average ordinary guy. Nothing much ever happens in Middleton, Indiana, except for one day when two strangers enter Tom’s diner and threaten to kill and rape two of his coworkers, Tom has to act fast. Shooting both intruders and thereby saving his friends’ lives brings him overnight stardom. Journalists show up at his house, newspapers put Tom on their front page and so he suddenly becomes Middleton’s very own hero. Unfortunately, Tom’s sudden fame also attracts the Philadelphian mob (Ed Harris among others) to Middleton and he soon finds himself and his family threatened by the guys in black. In an attempt to save his family Tom needs to turn his back on the ones he loves and face his past one last time.

Director David Cronenberg’s (Spider) adaptation of the History of Violence graphic novel is probably one of his best films to date. Given that the plot is somewhat simplistic and predictable it is nevertheless extremely gripping to see how the different events unfold. Apart from Viggo Mortensen in the lead role it is above all the supporting cast that needs to be praised for their outstanding performances. Ed Harris and William Hurt are both scene-stealers in this provocative piece that attempts to point out and visualize violence in all of its forms. Behind A History of Violence lies a cautionary tale that proves that violence is part
of the human being and human life and can never entirely be surrendered. This fact is demonstrated in a plethora of violent and extremely bloody shootouts as well as language, sex and domestic life in general. Despite its roots in the graphic novel and its slightly ironic tone, A History of Violence remains a thought-provoking piece of R-rated fiction that is obviously not for the faint of heart.

A history of the human condition. (2.5 out of 4 spools of barbwire)

He Sells Guns… And He’s Making A Killing.

Nicolas Cage plays Yuri Orlov, one of the world’s biggest arms dealers, who claims to have supplied every army but the Salvation Army. Apparently being based on true events, the narrative tells us how Yuri became such a prominent figure in the trafficking of firearms, starting with his family’s exodus from the Ukraine, going over to the cold war, the end of the cold war and concluding with his temporary apprehension in 2003. Between making deals with the world’s biggest warlords he woos the beautiful Ukrainian model (Bridget Moynahan), founds a family, takes his brother (Jared Leto) into rehab, outsmarts the FBI (Ethan Hawke) which is constantly tracking him and avoids being shot with his own merchandise. Ultimately not everything works out quite the way Yuri would have liked it to, but somehow he always manages to get away with just a scratch. He won’t quit doing what he does, because he is good at it.

The movie clocks in at about 2 hours of running time during which you have not only been bombarded with constant gunfire but also with an insane amount of trivia tidbits about the arms industry. Lord of War sometimes feels too artificial and makes you think you are watching some kind of over edited and overproduced documentary that is not entirely honest with itself. Nevertheless, it is an uncompromising portrait of an extremely successful and determined man who was also a moral asshole and never short of a cool thing to say. This, however, makes it quite difficult for the audience to feel any compassion for the main character as the movie unfolds. Moreover, if you are not particularly fond of Mr. Cage it should be pointed out that he achieves nearly omnipresence in his latest work. Even when he is not physically on screen, he still remains the narrator of the story and can be heard in the voice-over. Despite some major flaws, Lord of War is still worth a look because of its ethically challenging premise, nice visuals, an original credit sequence and great lines worth quoting. Where there is a will there is a weapon. (2.5 out of 4 ghosts in the shell)

You think you know who you are. You have no idea.

Set in the city of angels, Crash tells the stories of a dozen or so random Angelinos. The movie opens and concludes with the murder of a young black man and thereby functions as the frame story of the movie. In between we are shown what happened the day before in the lives of several individuals as well as the events that ultimately led to the killing of that young man. Police detectives (Don Cheadle; Jenifer Esposito) are taking bribes, police officers (Ryan Philippe; Matt Dillon) go on patrol, the well-off (Sandra Bullock) commandeer their Mexican cleaning lady, attorneys (Brendan Fraser) go to court and gang-bangers (e.g. Ludacris) carjack SUVs. In other words, everybody follows their everyday routine. But of course nothing ever happens as you think it would. People meet, tension builds up and anger, fear and frustration are released. And sometimes, people are killed in the process.

After a long period of Hollywood’s notorious summer big bang madness, Crash, directed by Paul Haggis who also wrote the screenplay for Eastwood’s Million Dollar Baby, is a welcome low-budget ($6.5 million) independent production. Nevertheless, the movie shows off a killer cast with many members giving remarkable performances. Crash, deliberately and heavily relying on stereotypes, builds up realistic scenarios and portrays humans for what they really are. The movie’s cross-cultural collisions bring out the prejudices in these Angelinos and show us what we are too afraid to admit. Crash, being a movie with a serious message is obviously not always easy to watch but probably ranks amongst the best films of the year. The score is highly moving, the presentation is genius with great dialogues and thought-provoking lines (‘we crash into each other just so we can feel something’) and L.A. has never looked grittier before.

A daring crash course on human interactions. (3 out of 4 melting pots)

You have been chosen.

It’s 2019; Jordan Two Delta (Scarlett Johansson) and Lincoln Six Echo (Ewan McGregor), along with the rest of mankind live and work in a gender-segregated, sterile indoor metropolis that is one of the last inhabitable places left on earth. After an environmental disaster devastated the world, the last survivors gathered and built the last city and refuge of human kind. This, however, did not come without a price. Deprived of their individuality and freedom, the only thing left to give them hope is to be chosen. To be lucky enough to win the lottery and be sent to the island, the only remaining inhabitable outdoor land, is the only way to escape this Orwellian dystopia. When Lincoln begins to have nightmares, which he is not supposed to have, and when he begins investigating his environment and his existence, which he is not supposed to do, he will make some horrifying discoveries about what is really going on in this brave new world. He abducts Jordan and escapes to the outside world.

In all fairness, one has to point out that despite the remarkable premise, The Island soon (give or take half an hour) drifts off into a flamboyant action-packed chase movie that carries the director’s signature car chases, shootouts, flashy camera angles and unforgettable pyrotechnics. Yes ladies and gentlemen lots of ‘cool shit’ gets blown up here because after all, The Island is helmed by Michael Bay, the guy who brought you The Rock, Armageddon and Bad Boys. Even though Bay may have been inspired (sounds better than stole, doesn’t it) by previous sci-fi flicks à la Logan’s Run, Coma or even Minority Report, he perfectly understands to blend the futuristic dystopian elements of the beginning with overwhelmingly entertaining chase sequences during the rest of the movie. The casting of Ewan McGregor and the amazing Scarlett Johansson, whom we love since the first frame of Lost in Translation, adds emotional weight and a soul to this $120 million action blow-out.

The Island awaits you. (3 out of 4 annoyingly bad in-your-face product placements)

Meet John Smith (Brad Pitt), a good-looking cardigan-wearing guy in his early forties working as a construction contractor. Meet Jane Smith (Angelina Jolie), John’s wife slightly younger than her husband but equally good-looking working as a Wall Street computer tech. John and Jane’s marriage has unfortunately come to a dead-end. They are seeing a marriage counselor because apparently the gap that has grown between them keeps filling up with everything they don’t say to each other. As the audience will soon learn, appearances can be deceiving especially in the case of the Smiths. They are the world’s deadliest assassins working for competing agencies, their identities a secret even from each other. When the assassination of Benjamin Diaz (The O.C.’s Adam Brody) goes wrong because both John and Jane were hired to do the kill, they grow increasingly suspicious of each other. What follows are uproarious verbal and ballistic shootouts between husband and wife, tire-screeching car chases and a tango dance scene all executed in near perfection.

If you hate Hollywood’s big-budget summer extravaganzas Mr. and Mrs. Smith will obviously bring you no satisfaction. Drenched in Tinseltown-glitz and deteriorating in the last half hour or so into nearly non-stop over-the-top action Smiths may not be everybody’s cup of tea. However, let’s put it that way and say that you are hard-pressed to find a more entertaining and flat-out-funny action comedy this year around. Both, Mr. Pitt and Mrs. Jolie are perfect in their roles and leave no opportunity to make fun of themselves. Director Doug Liman takes the wit from Swingers and mixes it with the action of The Bourne Identity and serves us a highly explosive cocktail that should not be missed. While the sexual innuendos are toned down (this is PG-13 after all) and the action sequences (of which there are a lot) deliver quite some thrills, it is above all the sarcastic bantering between John and Jane and their marriage counseling sessions that rank among the film’s best. Just imagine what kind of publicity this movie would get if Brad and Angie were a real-life couple too, oh wait.

Love gets lethal. Hilariously amoral grown-up fun. (3.5 out of 4 ugly divorces)

Prepare for the fantastic.

The Fantastic Four were Marvel’s first comic book heroes and it is quite astonishing that they have not hit the big screen long before. The movie is essentially an introductory tale showing the metamorphosis of four scientists (a knockout Jessica Alba, the Shield’s Michael Chiklis, Ioan Gruffudd and Chris Evans) into the popular crime-fighting quartet. While in outer space and conducting experiments on fellow-scientist Victor Von Doom’s (Nip/Tuck’s Julian McMahon) space station the four soon-to-be heroes get hit by a cosmic storm, leaving them with altered DNA and unique powers that reach from invisibility, catching fire and being indestructible to extreme elasticity. After an exciting rescue scene on New York’s Brooklyn Bridge the fantastic bunch and their superpowers are exposed to the media and their secret is revealed to the world. The Fantastic Four are born.

After the amazing Batman Begins this is already the second comic book adaptation this season. Obviously different from the latest Batman flick, The Fantastic Four is a light-hearted and some might even say simplistic take on the superhero genre. However, this ’simplicity’ plays a big part in the original comic books and is also part of the appeal of the four unlike heroes because after all their powers are no secret and their identities are public knowledge. That being said, The Fantastic Four still sports some major flaws. The story feels flat and uninspired, the acting seems awkward at times and the abrupt and rather unspectacular ending was quite unsatisfying. After all this first story about the superhero A-Team is a by the numbers summer blockbuster, with a good marketing campaign, great special effects and the notorious one-liners. Before you buy your ticket just think about this for a second: What kind of movie casts Jessica Alba and then makes her invisible half the time? Come on!

Not that fantastic. (2 out of 4 things)

Being based on Frank Miller’s graphic novel Batman: Year One as well as on the comic book entitled A Long Halloween, Batman Begins actually takes the time to give Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) and his alter ego a decent back-story. After his parents’ death and their murder’s trial, Bruce Wayne embarks on a journey that ultimately reveals to him the means to fight his deepest fears and his sworn enemies. Back in Gotham City, Bruce takes on a double (heck, maybe even a triple) identity with being a playboy billionaire at official occasions and a deep-voiced criminal-busting vigilante at night. With the help of Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman), the head of Wayne Technologies, and butler Alfred (Michael Caine), Bruce Wayne takes on mob-boss Falcone (Tom Wilkinson) and the entire Gotham underworld. Director Christopher Nolan takes the audience on a ride bristling with over-the-top action, intense but bloodless hand-to-hand combats, terrifying villains and a spectacular car chase that leaves you wanting more.

Christopher Nolan (Memento; Insomnia) opted for a darker, rather serious and mature tone for his revival of the Batman-franchise. Nolan puts the emphasis on Bruce Wayne’s inner turmoil and fears and tells how he has to become more than just a man (namely a symbol) to shake the people out of apathy. Begins looks and feels quite realistic (gone are the days of the day-glow Schumacher era) and underlines that Batman has no superpowers but is simply a rich guy who does a lot of push-ups. Nevertheless, Batman Begins clearly remains a summer blockbuster that above all wants to entertain. With a genius score by two of Hollywood’s finest composers (Zimmer and Howard), a new batmobile that looks like a million bucks and is every boy’s wet dream and with nearly the whole cast giving fabulous performances (sorry, Katie), Batman Begins is one hell of a ride.

The Dark Knight has truly returned. Go and see the original man in black.
(3.5 out of 4 rattled cages)

The saga is complete.

Revenge of the Sith finally fills the gap between the originals and the prequels. It is claimed to be the darkest in the series and tells the genesis of one of the most famous villains in movie history. Young padawan Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) still feels neglected in the Jedi Council. While on a mission with his mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) to end the Clone Wars, the young apprentice is haunted by gruesome nightmares that depict his dying pregnant wife Padmé (the always lovely Nathalie Portman). Driven by his fear, his pride and his enormous ego, Anakin lets himself be drawn to chancellor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) and the dark side of the force. During this journey, the audience is bombarded with massive space battles and dogfights, more light-saber action than never before (including the inevitable Anakin – Obi-Wan showdown) and a Frankenstein-esque birth of Darth Vader.

After years of waiting (was that you breathing heavy?) the last chapter of this famous space soap opera finally hits the theaters. After two utterly disappointing prequels (Menace and Clones) Lucas listened to the fans and promised to deliver a worthy final episode. However, unless you are a hard-boiled fan or a CGI aficionado, you will feel cheated out of your ticket price. The movie essentially looks and feels like an over-produced video game in most of its scenes. The human interactions, the dialogues, the somewhat dull love relationship between Padmé and Anakin as well as Anakin’s inner conflicts are portrayed in a highly superficial way, so that in the end it looks like this overlong action-adventure flick is a mere showcase for ILM (Lucas’ Industrial Lights and Magic). Revenge of the Sith kicks off the summer movie season but will probably be one of its biggest disappointments. If your pop-cultural duty or nostalgia obliges you to watch this movie this month, make yourself a favor and don’t expect a contender for movie of the year.

Sith happens. (1 out of 4 Yogurts)