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You have been chosen.

It’s 2019; Jordan Two Delta (Scarlett Johansson) and Lincoln Six Echo (Ewan McGregor), along with the rest of mankind live and work in a gender-segregated, sterile indoor metropolis that is one of the last inhabitable places left on earth. After an environmental disaster devastated the world, the last survivors gathered and built the last city and refuge of human kind. This, however, did not come without a price. Deprived of their individuality and freedom, the only thing left to give them hope is to be chosen. To be lucky enough to win the lottery and be sent to the island, the only remaining inhabitable outdoor land, is the only way to escape this Orwellian dystopia. When Lincoln begins to have nightmares, which he is not supposed to have, and when he begins investigating his environment and his existence, which he is not supposed to do, he will make some horrifying discoveries about what is really going on in this brave new world. He abducts Jordan and escapes to the outside world.

In all fairness, one has to point out that despite the remarkable premise, The Island soon (give or take half an hour) drifts off into a flamboyant action-packed chase movie that carries the director’s signature car chases, shootouts, flashy camera angles and unforgettable pyrotechnics. Yes ladies and gentlemen lots of ‘cool shit’ gets blown up here because after all, The Island is helmed by Michael Bay, the guy who brought you The Rock, Armageddon and Bad Boys. Even though Bay may have been inspired (sounds better than stole, doesn’t it) by previous sci-fi flicks à la Logan’s Run, Coma or even Minority Report, he perfectly understands to blend the futuristic dystopian elements of the beginning with overwhelmingly entertaining chase sequences during the rest of the movie. The casting of Ewan McGregor and the amazing Scarlett Johansson, whom we love since the first frame of Lost in Translation, adds emotional weight and a soul to this $120 million action blow-out.

The Island awaits you. (3 out of 4 annoyingly bad in-your-face product placements)

Meet John Smith (Brad Pitt), a good-looking cardigan-wearing guy in his early forties working as a construction contractor. Meet Jane Smith (Angelina Jolie), John’s wife slightly younger than her husband but equally good-looking working as a Wall Street computer tech. John and Jane’s marriage has unfortunately come to a dead-end. They are seeing a marriage counselor because apparently the gap that has grown between them keeps filling up with everything they don’t say to each other. As the audience will soon learn, appearances can be deceiving especially in the case of the Smiths. They are the world’s deadliest assassins working for competing agencies, their identities a secret even from each other. When the assassination of Benjamin Diaz (The O.C.’s Adam Brody) goes wrong because both John and Jane were hired to do the kill, they grow increasingly suspicious of each other. What follows are uproarious verbal and ballistic shootouts between husband and wife, tire-screeching car chases and a tango dance scene all executed in near perfection.

If you hate Hollywood’s big-budget summer extravaganzas Mr. and Mrs. Smith will obviously bring you no satisfaction. Drenched in Tinseltown-glitz and deteriorating in the last half hour or so into nearly non-stop over-the-top action Smiths may not be everybody’s cup of tea. However, let’s put it that way and say that you are hard-pressed to find a more entertaining and flat-out-funny action comedy this year around. Both, Mr. Pitt and Mrs. Jolie are perfect in their roles and leave no opportunity to make fun of themselves. Director Doug Liman takes the wit from Swingers and mixes it with the action of The Bourne Identity and serves us a highly explosive cocktail that should not be missed. While the sexual innuendos are toned down (this is PG-13 after all) and the action sequences (of which there are a lot) deliver quite some thrills, it is above all the sarcastic bantering between John and Jane and their marriage counseling sessions that rank among the film’s best. Just imagine what kind of publicity this movie would get if Brad and Angie were a real-life couple too, oh wait.

Love gets lethal. Hilariously amoral grown-up fun. (3.5 out of 4 ugly divorces)

Prepare for the fantastic.

The Fantastic Four were Marvel’s first comic book heroes and it is quite astonishing that they have not hit the big screen long before. The movie is essentially an introductory tale showing the metamorphosis of four scientists (a knockout Jessica Alba, the Shield’s Michael Chiklis, Ioan Gruffudd and Chris Evans) into the popular crime-fighting quartet. While in outer space and conducting experiments on fellow-scientist Victor Von Doom’s (Nip/Tuck’s Julian McMahon) space station the four soon-to-be heroes get hit by a cosmic storm, leaving them with altered DNA and unique powers that reach from invisibility, catching fire and being indestructible to extreme elasticity. After an exciting rescue scene on New York’s Brooklyn Bridge the fantastic bunch and their superpowers are exposed to the media and their secret is revealed to the world. The Fantastic Four are born.

After the amazing Batman Begins this is already the second comic book adaptation this season. Obviously different from the latest Batman flick, The Fantastic Four is a light-hearted and some might even say simplistic take on the superhero genre. However, this ’simplicity’ plays a big part in the original comic books and is also part of the appeal of the four unlike heroes because after all their powers are no secret and their identities are public knowledge. That being said, The Fantastic Four still sports some major flaws. The story feels flat and uninspired, the acting seems awkward at times and the abrupt and rather unspectacular ending was quite unsatisfying. After all this first story about the superhero A-Team is a by the numbers summer blockbuster, with a good marketing campaign, great special effects and the notorious one-liners. Before you buy your ticket just think about this for a second: What kind of movie casts Jessica Alba and then makes her invisible half the time? Come on!

Not that fantastic. (2 out of 4 things)

Being based on Frank Miller’s graphic novel Batman: Year One as well as on the comic book entitled A Long Halloween, Batman Begins actually takes the time to give Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) and his alter ego a decent back-story. After his parents’ death and their murder’s trial, Bruce Wayne embarks on a journey that ultimately reveals to him the means to fight his deepest fears and his sworn enemies. Back in Gotham City, Bruce takes on a double (heck, maybe even a triple) identity with being a playboy billionaire at official occasions and a deep-voiced criminal-busting vigilante at night. With the help of Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman), the head of Wayne Technologies, and butler Alfred (Michael Caine), Bruce Wayne takes on mob-boss Falcone (Tom Wilkinson) and the entire Gotham underworld. Director Christopher Nolan takes the audience on a ride bristling with over-the-top action, intense but bloodless hand-to-hand combats, terrifying villains and a spectacular car chase that leaves you wanting more.

Christopher Nolan (Memento; Insomnia) opted for a darker, rather serious and mature tone for his revival of the Batman-franchise. Nolan puts the emphasis on Bruce Wayne’s inner turmoil and fears and tells how he has to become more than just a man (namely a symbol) to shake the people out of apathy. Begins looks and feels quite realistic (gone are the days of the day-glow Schumacher era) and underlines that Batman has no superpowers but is simply a rich guy who does a lot of push-ups. Nevertheless, Batman Begins clearly remains a summer blockbuster that above all wants to entertain. With a genius score by two of Hollywood’s finest composers (Zimmer and Howard), a new batmobile that looks like a million bucks and is every boy’s wet dream and with nearly the whole cast giving fabulous performances (sorry, Katie), Batman Begins is one hell of a ride.

The Dark Knight has truly returned. Go and see the original man in black.
(3.5 out of 4 rattled cages)

The saga is complete.

Revenge of the Sith finally fills the gap between the originals and the prequels. It is claimed to be the darkest in the series and tells the genesis of one of the most famous villains in movie history. Young padawan Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) still feels neglected in the Jedi Council. While on a mission with his mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) to end the Clone Wars, the young apprentice is haunted by gruesome nightmares that depict his dying pregnant wife Padmé (the always lovely Nathalie Portman). Driven by his fear, his pride and his enormous ego, Anakin lets himself be drawn to chancellor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) and the dark side of the force. During this journey, the audience is bombarded with massive space battles and dogfights, more light-saber action than never before (including the inevitable Anakin - Obi-Wan showdown) and a Frankenstein-esque birth of Darth Vader.

After years of waiting (was that you breathing heavy?) the last chapter of this famous space soap opera finally hits the theaters. After two utterly disappointing prequels (Menace and Clones) Lucas listened to the fans and promised to deliver a worthy final episode. However, unless you are a hard-boiled fan or a CGI aficionado, you will feel cheated out of your ticket price. The movie essentially looks and feels like an over-produced video game in most of its scenes. The human interactions, the dialogues, the somewhat dull love relationship between Padmé and Anakin as well as Anakin’s inner conflicts are portrayed in a highly superficial way, so that in the end it looks like this overlong action-adventure flick is a mere showcase for ILM (Lucas’ Industrial Lights and Magic). Revenge of the Sith kicks off the summer movie season but will probably be one of its biggest disappointments. If your pop-cultural duty or nostalgia obliges you to watch this movie this month, make yourself a favor and don’t expect a contender for movie of the year.

Sith happens. (1 out of 4 Yogurts)

Being alone in her United Nations sound booth after hours, interpreter Sylvia Broome (Nicole Kidman) overhears an assassination plot that puts despotic African leader and president of the Republic of Matobo Edmund Zuwanie’s life in jeopardy. After reporting that the assassination will take place during Zuwanie’s speech at UN headquarters in New York City, the secret service around Tobin Keller (Sean Penn) begins its investigation. Discovering that Sylvia herself is from Matobo, her parents and sister killed by one of Zuwanie’s land mines and she being one of only eight people in the US able to understand Matobo’s tribal dialect inevitably puts her on the suspect list. As the plot develops, dramatic confrontations ensue, a platonic love grows and a conspiracy theory unfolds while the audience is riveted to their seats and begins to question Sylvia’s integrity and real motivation.

After The Firm and Three Days of the Condor, Sydney Pollack, the master of the political thriller, delivers yet another at-the-edge-of-your-seat experience. Thanks to a close friendship with Kofi Annan, Pollack was the first director allowed to shoot inside UN headquarters on New York City’s East River (in the United Nations General Assembly as well as in the Security Council buildings). With fascinating in and outside shots of the UN building, captivating aerial shots of New York and interesting characters played by two of today’s most critically acclaimed actors (Kidman and Penn), the movie convinces both plot-wise and technically. With a slightly disappointing ending the movie unfortunately doesn’t conclude with the brilliancy of its first half. With its old-school feeling The Interpreter is nevertheless a welcome change in the era of modern film-making. Go see it before you indulge yourself in not so demanding flicks when the summer movie season officially begins.

Would you sacrifice another family to save your own?

After a hostage negotiation gone awfully wrong, the world’s most renowned negotiator Jeff Tally (Bruce Willis) decides to quit and becomes a county sheriff in a sleepy Californian pueblo. In the mean time, a three juvenile punks’ attempt to steal a car ends up with a whole family (a widowed dad, his adolescent daughter and a little boy) being held hostage by them. What complicates the situation is that the captured dad is a mob accountant holding incriminating data and mysterious gangsters kidnap Willis’s own wife and daughter in order to force him to retrieve the material from the mansion while subverting the ongoing investigations and negotiations. With the help of the family’s youngest member who managed to escape and hide in the ventilation shafts, Willis tries to save the day and both families.

With a clever premise and artful credits the movie delivers for most of its first half before literally all hell breaks loose. What follows is a loud and ridiculous gun blasting and explosion-heavy finale that makes you scratch your head more than once. Seemingly superhuman bad guys throwing Molotov cocktails and Willis killing off his offenders in brutal shootouts in best Die Hard manner makes this movie drift off into the outright ludicrous. (”Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker”). Instead of delivering utterly idiotic flicks such as this one director Florent Emilio Siri (Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow) should stick with making video games which he does better. Only Bruce Willis’ performance would to some extent justify the ticket price but that being said you had better to rent the Die Hard trilogy (you might skip the 2nd installment) and watch action flicks that do not pretend to be something else.

(1 out of 4 plotholes)

Come out come out, whatever you are.

After his wife’s (Alias’s Amy Irving) apparent suicide, Manhattan psychiatrist David Calloway (Robert De Niro) takes his daughter (Dakota Fanning) away to live in a remote house in upstate New York. Against the advice of the girl’s therapist (Famke Janssen), father and daughter seek a fresh start in this isolated summer community that houses creepy woods and even creepier neighbors. The real threat, however, does not come from the outside. Having lost her beloved mommy, the withdrawn girl develops a friendship with an imaginary friend by the name of Charlie. Mutilated dolls, bloody messages appearing on the bathroom walls and the girl developing circles under her eyes that make us think of Christina Ricci in The Adam’s Family make this a challenging experience for daddy who thinks his daughter has gone loco.

After Meet the Fockers, Robert De Niro tries something completely different by starring in this awfully lame horror flick. Even though he is more or less convincing as the caring father, it is Dakota Fanning who steals nearly every scene she is in. As one might guess, Robert De Niro must have learned from previous stinkers like Godsend to actually read scripts before signing for a movie but probably didn’t for this one either. The most annoying thing is that nearly everything in this movie has already been done before; and in a much better way. Creepy woods, isolated houses, dimly lit cellars and cats jumping out of closets are no ground-breaking additions to the horror genre. Moreover, the frustratingly slow pacing of the movie makes it even harder to give it any credit besides Fanning’s possessed child acting.

Stay away stay away, whoever you are.

Hell wants him. Heaven won’t take him. Earth needs him.

Keanu Reeves plays John Constantine, an edgy exorcist, in this film noir adaptation of the Hellblazer comic books and graphic novels. Armed with crucifixes, holy water, and mirrors, chain-smoking suicide survivor Constantine fights with satanic minions and rescues possessed mortals in modern-day Los Angeles. After Isabel Dodson’s (Rachel Weisz) unexplained suicide, her twin sister, LAPD detective Angela Dodson (guess who), joins forces with Constantine in order to solve her sister’s mysterious death. Together, they embark on a journey that literally takes them to hell and back, featuring the angel Gabriel (androgynous Tilda Swinton), the Spear of Destiny which apparently inflected Jesus’s deadly wounds, and the man downstairs himself.

On the surface, Constantine is a special effects laden mystery thriller that for the most part unfolds at a break-neck pace. However, this R-rated flick has more to offer than CGI demons and Rachel Weisz in a wet shirt. Constantine has more depth than you would expect from a movie made by a former music video director. Francis Lawrence, who directed for example Justin Timberlake’s Cry Me a River video clip, made this movie, rich in symbolism and interesting even for nonbelievers. On the whole, the cast is doing a good job (the most kudos have to go to Rachel Weisz) and even though we can’t help but thinking that Keanu Reeves is still the One, he does a decent job portraying JC.

Constantine delivers gorgeous special effects combined with an original and intriguing storyline about salvation and forgiveness. Start your prayers.

(2.5 out of 4 nicotine patches)

Everyone is looking for the next big hit.

In this sequel to the 1995 hit Get Shorty, John Travolta picks up his role as the Miami mobster turned Hollywood producer Chili Palmer. After his friend, music executive Tommy Athens (James Woods) is killed, Chili, who was fed up with the movie business anyway, decides to jump-start his music industry career with the help of Tommy’s widow Edie (Uma Thurman). Soon however, when Chili tries to win over a young up-and-coming singer (Christina Milian) he realizes that the music industry is quite a biatch as he will have to deal with such twisted gangstas as Sin LaSalle (a music kingpin played by Cedric the Entertainer) and his party posse, Dabu (a trigger-happy gang-banger played by Outkast’s André 3000), Raji (Vince Vaughn’s character who has a preference for acting black) and Elliot (Raji’s gay bodyguard played by former wrestling star The Rock).

As it often is the case with movies with A-list laden casts, Be Cool is heavily character driven while the plot remains somewhat secondary. Nevertheless, the movie gives a hilariously stereotyped view on the music business and especially the hippy-hop genre. With additional music from Aerosmith, the Rock as a freakin’ funny Samoan bodyguard who participates in a Polynesian lap dance, a scantily clad Christina Milian, and a Pulp Fiction reminiscent Travolta/Thurman dance scene, Be Cool is over-the-top with comedy and music and features more cameos than you might spot on a first viewing. Even though Be Cool lacks some of the appeal and charm of its predecessor Get Shorty, John Travolta keeps his fingers crossed that a musical number can save his career one more time.

Yo homie! Be Entertained. (3 out of 4 Grammies)